sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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