no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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