so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
