I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
