Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
You made out with two different species that night
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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