a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
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