"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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