someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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