She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Randomize
