I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Randomize
