I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
