so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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