So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
