Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Randomize
