I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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