I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize