That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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