Plan B is the new Plan A
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
