I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
