i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
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