Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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