First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
