You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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