As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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