I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
You are the jesus of drinking
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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