do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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