Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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