Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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