1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
