Im at strip club and am horny
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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