Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
