Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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