Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
