well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Randomize
