my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
this must be what syphilis tastes like
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
