fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
