It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize