So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize