Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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