I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Randomize
