I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
