That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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