i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Less talking, more tequila
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Randomize
