if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
