If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize