she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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