Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
