Whod you bang
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
