apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
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