There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
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