Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Randomize
