i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
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It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
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i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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