just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
