Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize