I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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