Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
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