go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
