end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
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I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
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I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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